Truthfully, for this woman the answer to that question is yes, the opposite has become obsolete. In a way. I can’t wait for my not conceived children to meet their grandpa. Last I checked you can only have a baby with sperm and I think that having strong men around is great. I learned a lot from my father and my uncles. Yet, even as a teenager I was pretty sure that women could rule the world and we would only need to keep around a few really smart, kind considerate males (in containment of course) for the purposes of breeding; both “natural” for those so inclined and the old fashioned turkey baster method.
I was having a conversation with someone the other day and was so shocked by the questions coming out of their mouth that I decided I needed to post. This person asked if I always knew that I was gay and wanted to know when I came out. Answer- I came out at 28 and always knew that I was gay. They then asked, “well don’t you miss having sex with men?” and my simple answer was No, I don’t miss it.
Interestingly last night I started watching Season 4 of SATC when Samantha starts to date Maria. She and the girls have just met up at the coffee shop after a long weekend and Samantha starts in giving the ladies a very insightful look into the makings of lesbian sex. We learn that Samantha has discovered every thing there is to know about the pussy. She tells them she’s getting an education and not for nothing, a lot of women could do with a bit more learnin’ about their vaginas; gay and straight. For Samantha, it’s just a new chapter in her sex book. After two episodes she and Maria break up. For me, and a lot of women who come out later in life, it’s about rediscovering who you are.
Thing is, I didn’t choose to be gay no more than I chose to be black. I was born this way. I did, however, choose to be straight for a very long time. I made the conscious decision to live my life as a pseudo-straight person because I thought it would be easier for me and for my family. Living and dating as a straight woman I had sex with men. I will even put it out there that most of the time I had an okay time.
Other A lot of times I fantasized about having sex with women.
The first two times in the lesbo-sac were a bit rocky. I didn’t know what I was doing and to call it awkward wouldn’t be a lie. Then I had amazing sex and, well, let’s just say I’ve never looked back. It’s not just about the sex, of course, it felt great because I was finally doing something that felt right. Do I ever look at straight couples and wish I were in a hetero relationship? Only when the realization of the ease at which they’re given civil rights and then it just makes me angry and want to work towards equal rights for all people.
While I’m not a hetero-phobe I’m definitely pro-other. Whether that other is based on age, race, sexual orientation or religion the others out there need be recognized as equal in our society. One of my friends posted on Facebook today that our country was ripe for a revolution and you know what? I think we are. We live in 2011 where a black man sits on the seat of the
most powerful country in the world and last week thousands of Americans were given pink slips. Reading in the NY Times today I learned that teachers in Wisconsin are being notified that they will be loosing their jobs, and only a fraction of them will be able to actually get those jobs back in the fall. Women are continually paid less money and the rights of a woman to, as Representative Moore so eloquently stated, Plan her Parenthood is under attack.
While for me, in terms of sexual satisfaction the opposite sex has become obsolete we all need to stand together to make sure we’re all afforded the same rights. Gay rights shouldn’t be the concern of LGBTQ individuals and their families only, it should be the concern of all Americans. The rights of women shouldn’t just be a concern for women but any one who has a mother, sister, or aunt. The rights of the disabled, the rights of the aging, the rights of unions the rights of every American should be the concern of every American. Until we can get to that point, and as it seems we’re never going to reach that understanding, we need to rally.
Thank you to the New Yorkers who went downtown today to rally for the rights of others. I was at work but with you in spirit.