Are you LeSbIaN enough?

What does that mean, really?  I’m not so sure either and it’s not really my questions.  I was trolling around AE last night.  Something I’m doing less frequently because the more I read comments by subscribers the older and older I feel.  Is there not a Lesbian Website that isn’t completely overrun by high schoolers?  That’s another rant.  So I was trolling around the Forums and Comments section and noticed a Topic/Thread in which the poster complained that she didn’t feel as if she were “gay” enough.  She went on to list reasons why she felt that way; doesn’t like sports, can’t fix things, hates Tegan and Sara, thinks shopping is a religion, etc.  I actually  read through the entire rant straight through to comments and after reading a few logged off and sat back, baffled.

Let’s just keep in mind that I’ve only been out for a two years and there are times when I wish I appeared “gayer” which I can define momentarily.  I don’t, though, feel like there’s any “way” to be a lesbian.  That’s the beauty of being a lesbian, it’s just something you are like black, or big-breasted.  This person’s Lesbian Check List read like a bad episode of the L Word coupled with every stereotype in existence about Lesbians.

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5 thoughts on “Are you LeSbIaN enough?

  1. Yeah that’s too bad that someone would give into stereotypes to the point their questioning their sexuality or their lesbian status. I thought being a lesbian was about liking women…period. Not about your personal hobbies or clothing style. Stereotypes and lables are for narrow minded folks. Even knew a girl who claimed she didnt believe in lables, blah, blah, blah, but then continued to call me a ‘Stem” when her narrow little mind couldnt process the fact that I didnt fit the whole stud or femme role…idiot

    • What pisses me off about the ‘categories’ and ‘requirements’ of being a lesbian, is that it’s so unnecessary and confusing and only serves the purpose of making one question herself. I realized that I was a dyke a couple of months ago, and as I read blogs and checked out info sites everything was about what lesbians wear and what their interests are and hair looks like. And as ridiculous as this sounds, sometimes even now I feel like the way I dress and what I like might mean I’m actually straight !!

      • you’re definitely NOT straight, if you’re a girl who likes girls. A lot of lesbian sites are really into the labels and boxes, even if they’re unaware that they are doing it. It’s definitely a bit frustrating but mostly annoying!

  2. Perhaps I’m in the small group who doesn’t mind the labels or categories we sort of define for ourselves. I think it’s interesting how diverse the lgbt community is and that we’ve come up with terms to help understand each other and perhaps make it easier for us to relate/seek partners we’re attracted to or find circle of friends.

    Nothing is set in stone. These definitions turn negative when we start using them to segregate or imprison ourselves to certain behaviours, hairstyles, thought patterns, etc. The most important thing between all of us is that we love the companionship of women. Outside of that, everything else is of lesser importance.

  3. i definitely don’t mind labels, per se, i have a good amount of friends who define or self-identify and it makes sense. the problem occurs, though, when someone isn’t really sure of who they are-especially if you’re just coming out. this particular post on AE was shocking because the poster was trying to check of a laundry list of “lesbian qualities” and finding that she maybe wasn’t a lesbian based on a list of things she found online.

    It’s a slippery slope-especially if you don’t fit into a box, like me. I chose not to self-identify because I can’t say with 100 percent certainty I am a Top, I am a femme, etc. Because it changes daily. you’re definitely right, though-the true constant in this crazy world of lesbian is finding companionship, love, romance, lust for a woman

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