My Favorite It Gets Better Videos

A new fan of OLGINYC commented reminding us that actions are better than words.  I cannot agree with him more, still I find that the It Gets Better Videos are beacons of hope for individuals who cannot find a person to help them.

President Barack Obama

Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton


And the Latest from Pixar


10.08.10, My 31st Birthday and my first Flash Mob

A little after 6PM at New York’s Grand Central Terminal a whistle sounded three times.  After the third cry dozens of bodies slowly collapsed to the ground.

6PM on a Friday night in Grand Central Terminal is sort of a mash up of many things.  It’s a tourist stop and Friday is the day they all come to NYC.  It’s right after the work day when the trains to Westchester County and Fairfield County stop running express and drag on forever on the local schedule.  It’s where business men and women stop for drinks before heading home, it’s where brides and grooms take pictures after their NYC weddings.  On October 8, 2010, it let those busy, bustling people see the effects of homophobia.

property of Erika K. Davis

The fact is that Homophobia Kills.  It kills in a very real sense, the names of people we’ve lost due to homophobia were said aloud for all of those present could hear their names.  Homophobia also kills the soul.  When a gay youth is told that they are worthless, they are sinners, they are ugly, they are inhuman and they have no outlet or resource to give comfort their soul dies.  Just as a child should never be told they are stupid, no gay person should ever discount their worth. 

Property of Erika K. Davis

When people turn a blind eye to hateful words and ugly deeds, Homophobia Kills.  It was to be expected that hurried New Yorkers would walk over the bodies.  We were occupying one of the busiest spaces on the entire island, but the not seeing of the New Yorkers trying to make their trains, the lack of compassion to even stop and ask, the desire to not see the death around them was eye-opening and it’s more than just a metaphor it is reality.  People hear and see acts of violence done to LGBTQ people and instead of lending a hand, they walk away.

Tikkun Olam is Hebrew for repairing the world.  It is our duty, as Jews, to participate in the repair of the world on every level.  We grow up in a Christian society that spouts sayings like, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” but its loaded and rattled with inequalities.  Our society as always put some one, some class, some minority aside or down to lift another up.  We cannot sit idly by and watch this continue to happen.  I urge you, no I implore you to do what you can to repair the world. 

I often wonder what happened to the Civil Rights activists of the 60s and 70s, did they not teach their children to act up?  Why aren’t some of us, folks in our late 20s and 30s, children of these activists more active?  When they saw the world around them filled with injustice and inequality they marched, we hop online.  Personally, I always say but rarely do. 

Yesterday was my birthday and I felt alive watching the dead bodies lie in Grand Central Terminal.  I felt moved in a way I haven’t felt in a long time.  I was inspired and I was angry but the thing that I realized is that I should only be angry with myself for not moving, talking, acting sooner and found inspiration in those who gave their lives, unwillingly, to the cause.

Come out, Come out Where ever You are?

I used to feel this way and in some instances I think that it stands.  Celebrities, for example, should always come out with their homo flags flying.  It’s important that media figures, artists, actors, actresses, musicians, and political figures come out with their gay guns blazing.  It’s important that they show the world that they’re comfortable in their homo skin and it shows America and the world that gay comes in many different forms.  When celebrities come out it allows small town girl in Michigan that there are people out there who are like her, who are different, who are gay.

I feel the same way about showing positive images of women, people of color, and other minorities on television.  It doesn’t help society when all blacks are portrayed as absent minded, drug addict gang bangers.  Showing Asians as smart, good-doer prudes and Latinos as knife swinging, tequilla drinking thugs.  Just as gay men prancing around in glitter and tights don’t do gays any good.  Fact of the matter is that there are limp wristed gay boys, black men and women in gangs, Mexicans swigging tequilla, and an Asian girl getting into Princeton with her perfect SAT scores and GPA.  The vast majority of minorities fall in the middle, though.  Don’t we?

When you have positive images in the media of minority people it allows you to see a projection of yourself or a projection of who you aspire to be.  It is for this reason that I get angry when the media keeps shoveling the same bullshit down our throats.  It’s also why I stood on the side of come out ,be proud.  Until those teenagers took their lives for being who they are.  My tune has shifted a bit because it’s not always safe to come out and be who you are.  I applaud those young boys in glee club who wave their homosexual flag for the world to see.  I love the teen who refused to attend prom if not on the arm of her girlfriend.  On the other hand, there are so many different places and spaces where being gay, or perceived to be gay is like standing in front of a firing squad.

Growing up, I knew that I was gay.  I can remember my first realization when I had my first job at 15 at a local hotdog chain.  My boss and I were closing and she leaned over.  I could see down her shirt and she wasn’t wearing a bra.  Her breasts were small and perfect and the moment my eyes caught sight of her perfectly perky pink nipples there was an immediate warmth and aching in my shorts I never felt when I was in the back seat of a car making out with the pimply faced boyfriend I had.  I knew I was gay and waited 13 years to come out later.  It’s not that Toledo, Ohio was an anti-gay place, I just wasn’t ready to admit who I was. 

After the alarming number of recent suicides I’m feeling a little different.  I love Dan Savage’s It Gets Better Project but on the other hand, I think that keeping kids safe is more important.  Schools need to have better laws, restrictions, and groups that support LGBTQ and questioning students.  Gay and Straight alliances aren’t an option in this day in age, they are required just as the Math Club or Student Council are mainstays of high school life.  There needs to be more safe spaces for LGBTQ youth to go to when they feel like there is no place to turn and parents need to come to the reality that their children may be gay.  Education on so many levels is severely lacking in our country and gay issues is one of the areas.  In the public school system, tolerance doesn’t need to be taught, acceptance needs to be the norm.   Lastly, so many of us, me included, need to do something to make it better for kids instead of waiting for someone to pick up the slack for us.

The Islamic Center, You and Me

Muslims pray here


I’ve been reading a lot of the Huffington Post lately, as it is my new-found obsession. I have been commenting obsessively about this crazy “Ground Zero Mosque” charade that’s going on in NYC and across the nation and I’m truly at a loss for words.  

Buddhists Pray Here

What is Mosque any way?  What’s a shul, or synagogue?  What’s a church?  What’s a temple?  Do they make bombs in mosques?  Do they burn babies in synagogues?  Do they worship idols in churches/temples??  Nope.  We pray in them.  They’re houses of prayer.  A place for community, to eat, sing, dance, pray, meditate, enjoy the company of others.  They hold sacred texts, the architecture is often awe-inspiring, They are often beautifully decorated with stained glass, beautiful mosaics, paintings, gilded in gold.   Homes of languages, English, Spanish, Hebrew, Arabic, Sanskrit.  I digress… 

Jews Pray Here

Being a writer, I’m never at a loss of words but the words that I keep coming up with our those of a toddler.  Why?  Any parent of a 2-year-old will tell you that “Why” is one of those words that you try not to teach your child and some how it happens that they learn the singular question and the Pandora’s Box of Why is opened and you never, ever have an answer no matter how hard you try. 

I was a Why Child, my mother tells me.  Everything she said was questioned and the answers she gave were questioned until impatient and exhausted she would retort, “Because, that’s why!”  Jullian, my beautiful 4-year-old nephew, is a Why Child and as events continue to unfold before my eyes and ears I’m remembering that I am, in fact, a Why Child. 

The first I heard of the “Ground Zero Mosque” was at work at 4AM by employees who were giving me a very loose, very ignorant interpretation of what was going on.  Because they were talking in ear shot and they were being bigoted and you know, discrimination in the work place is a no-no I asked them to change their topic of conversation from racist ones to something more appropriate. 

As the weeks go on I can’t help but wonder Why American’s cannot see what they’re doing?  Let’s take a look at History, keeping in mind that I am not a history scholar, nor do I pretend to be. 

We “discover” America.  Never mind the people who’ve lived on the continent for centuries.  We come in, we over power them, we make them into savages, beasts, less-than humans.  We use our fire power to over power them and drive them off the land and now these people live in fractions of land without basic human, American privileges like education, health care, and a sense of belonging.  The entire span of the continent that is North America shrunk into spaces – Reservations we call them.  What are we reserving?  We’ve taken away a way of life, and more than that we’ve taken away a people. 


Next we board ships and cross the Atlantic and rip a people, my people, from their own country.  We strip them of their humanity, their dignity, their identity and shackle them in bowels of ships like cattle.  The unfortunate ones who survive the journey back across the Atlantic are then treated worse than cattle, worse than live stock.  They aren’t given rights because they are property and are treated as such.  Human beings striped of anything human in a society where a family can be broken up and sold, women can be raped, and men can be tortured. 


When my people are given emancipation we’re still second class citizens without the right to own property or vote and to this day a black person walking down the wrong street on the wrong night is not safe. 


 The Next second class citizens, women, are never stripped of rights because we never had them at all.  


 The thing that “marriage supporters” always forget that the purpose of marriage, originally, had nothing to do with religion at all.  It was an exchange of property and goods and ownership, the woman, from one man to another.  The Hebrew Bible is riddled with women being treated no better than slaves.  Lot offers his virgin daughters to the savages of Sodom for goodness sake!    


Women fought for what we believed in and still we make less money, we cannot be ordained as holy people in many faiths, we’re still seen as second class citizens and some men feel that it’s their right or privilege to call out in the streets, grab in the bars… 


Japanese people after the World War, Jews at any time in history.  We’re making it impossible for Mexicans to seek solice in our country when the purpose of our country was to give solice to those who came looking,   “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free the wretched refuse of your teeming shore.  Send these, the homeless, the tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!” 


When the twin towers fell I sat watching at home with my family like everyone else.  I remember listening to the broadcasters and thinking to myself when they said “Muslim terrorists” G-d help us.  Some blacks scoffed it off, “now someone else knows what it feels like.”  People spit bigotry and racism freely and very few opposed it.  

When the twin towers fell 16 radical “Islamic” men took the lives of thousands of men, women, children.  Jews, Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Atheists, etc., etc.  Gays, straights, lesbians, queers…Blacks, Whites, Asians, Latinos… 

It was a loss for all Americans including Americans who are Muslims.  The world watched in horror remembering D-Day, The Shoah, A divided Ireland, an oppressed Germany.  Why? 

Why can’t people remember those things?  Why can’t people remember their humanity, their compassion, their love, the fact that at one time we all were “Muslim”, the “other” person, people, sex, gender, race… 

Reading history books in school, whether it be grade school, high school, or college, I remember shaking my head in dismay at the horrors that we humans have wrought upon other humans.  Rereading the Torah I shake my head still.  As a civilization we continue to do this and Why don’t we learn? 

As a Jew, we believe that Moshiach will come when the world is free of all sin, and I’m paraphrasing clearly.  It’s written far more eloquently else where.  Christians also belive that the world will be redeemed when it’s pure and guess what?  Muslims think that, too!!  

How will Moshiach come if we’re acting like savage beasts!?  Why would s/he?  I sure as hell wouldn’t.  G-d promised Noah that he’d never destroy the earth again after the great flood.  Let’s remember that Erika does NOT take the Bible for face value.  One of the reasons I’m embracing Judaism is because it’s encouraged for me to “wrestle” with the Torah.  I’ve said it before and I’m saying it again.  I bet G-d is regretting that promise right about now. 




A Day of Fasting

Thanks to a new reader I realized that today is Tisha B’av-“The ninth day of the Hebrew month of Av, a day of mourning and fasting recalling the destruction of the Temples in Jerusalem and other tragedies that have befallen the Jewish people.” from Living a Jewish Life by Anita Diamant.  Starting at sundown yesterday Jews are supposed to fast, mourn, and refrain from working and other activities, including the reading of the Torah.  The fast is supposed to be a 25 hour fast in which Jews do not eat, drink, and in some cases shower, bathe, or wear leather goods as a sign of respect and mourning. 

Hmmm.  How does this Jew-in-Training get off work at such short notice and ride her bike to work without eating or drinking.  I don’t.  Had I consulted the Jewish calendar hanging on my wall I would’ve taken notice and tried to work something out but I’m a slave to my blackberry which, unfortunately, runs on the Georgian calendar.  I wonder if there’s a app for a Jewish calendar.  Instead, I’ve decided to do a liquid only diet out of respect for the day.

Miriam sent me an interesting article from NPR today regarding the possible conversion law being debated for the validation of American Jews as “real” Jews in Israel in addition one of the rabbis from a temple I’m interested in spoke with me today about their upcoming conversion courses.  So you can see that my head is swirling with Jewishness today.  Or maybe it’s the fact that I’ve only had liquids.  I’m always impressed by Muslims during Ramadan.  I remember in high school being baffled by the Pakistani girls in class who’d study or read during lunch period instead of eating.  I’d always ask them, quite ignorantly, ” But, aren’t you hungry?” because I didn’t, or couldn’t, understand their strong drive for their faith.  Looking at the observation of fasting now I’m in awe.  Could I do that?  I suppose you can always do whatever it is that you put your mind to but the importance of the thing is the why.  My head isn’t fully wrapped around the many injustices of the Jewish people but in terms of the injustices in the world as a whole-there are too many to count.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if other people gave up food, drink, and luxuries for a period of 25 hours for the sake of remembering.  Realising that people go without every day in our country.  Realising the injustice done, and still being done to minority groups in our country and abroad.  Remembering slavery and the results of slavery in the US.  Realising of the inequalities for civil rights for LGBT peoples throughout the world.  If I could have today off I’m not sure how I would honor it.  Next year, we shall see but I’d like to think that I would use the day to do good for others.  If I am to fast for 25 hours perhaps instead I would volunteer at a soup kitchen, or give the money or food I would spend that day to someone in need.  They are thoughts, ideas, possibilities of hope for the future and others.

Today Show Disses Same-Sex Couples

Have you seen this?  The Today Show’s annual Wedding Contest no longer is allowing same-sex couples to enter siting the lack of legal marriage for same-sex couples in the state of New York, where the “wedding” would take place.  The shitty thing about New York is that they voted down same-sex marriage in the fall, the consolation prize is that the state recognizes out-of-state marriages; even those that are same-sex, because you know, they’re married.

I’m not sure if I’m angry with NBC or livid, I’ve not quite figured it out just yet.  It’s utter bullshit is what it is!  There.  I’m livid.  It’s beyond upsetting.  You’d think that a network like NBC (not FOX, mind you) would be a little but more accepting and open in this arena.  What great publicity for NBC to show the world what a same-sex couple looks like.  We’re not going to steal or convert your children, we don’t have horns, or have orgies.  We pay bills, we argue, we go grocery shopping, we’re just like everybody else.  Talk about exposure!  But no, as second-class citizens we don’t even have the option to see a same-sex couple possibly maybe get “married” on live television. 

NBC Universal Inc.  Shame on You!  This is a HUGE set-back for Equal Rights (because let us not forget that marriage is a Civil Right) but it’s also a huge coup for the right-winged crazy -Christians who get confused about that whole “separation of church and state” thing.  I get that the state of New York doesn’t allow same-sex couples to marry but the Today Show wedding was never really a wedding, it’s a media-crazed, publicity-fused advertisement on speed…that millions of Americans get personally involved in every year.  Denying same-sex couples to participate completely devalues us, and the cause for Equal Rights. 

I call foul and though I don’t own a television, if I did I’d switch to that other morning show effective immediately.  The thing that really burns me, though is that they seem to be completely aloof.  Would they say that an Asian couple, an interracial couple, or that an interfaith couple couldn’t participate?  No!  Why?  Because it’s plain wrong, there’s no simpler way to put it.  Thankfully GLAAD has stepped in and I’ve done my part in signing the petition.  Make sure you do too!  While you’re at it, send NBC a few nasty e-mails.  You have to get through a SURVEY before hand but get those e-mails going.

Black Women I Wish Were Gay (or Just Come Out, Already) Part Deux

This is a Rant so be prepared.

There are only a few Lesbian Websites that I visit with any regularity and one of them is AE.  I don’t visit too much because as of late, the content has been a little lack luster.  I’ll mosey on over every other day and find something that I like to read, something inspiring, something about a Queer woman of color, or amazing list of books I absolutely must read this summer.  Wednesday was no different, I found a sweet article about Dyke Fashion (cut off shorts are back!) Did they ever go away?  (No)  and my favorite would-be lesbo, Queen Latifah article about her recent Upscale Magazine cover.  Here’s the AE Link. Hopefully you can read all of the silly comments behind mine.

Sorry you have to cut and paste but hopefully you did.  I mean, am I crazy or is it not important for Black Queer Visibility for these women to come out?!  I mean, come on!  I totally get that what you do behind your closed doors is your business but the importance of celebrity, possibly the most important thing about celebrity is the visibility.  I’m not a Black Pride, Down with the Man black woman.  As much as my father tried to make me, I’m not.  I’m in love with a Jew (which is better than white yet in some cases not, right?)  I mean, really.  But as a black woman who will be raising black jewish children seeing a face that you can recognize is important.

I don’t relate to all black people, I never have and I never will.  I don’t like it all the time when people refer to me as “sister”  on the train (mainly because they’re leering men and I find it disturbing)  I never ever quite had as much rhythm as I’m “supposed” to have and I don’t, under any circumstance, think that all black people are the same but we’re not.  There is something to be said, though, about the recognition of blackness around you.

Did I vote for Barack Obama because he’s a black man?  No.  In my opinion he’s mixed race but in this race-obssessed world he’s black.  I do, however, feel a sense of pride in knowing that he’s a black man and my president.  I would feel the same pride if Senator Clinton had won the nomination and inevitably one the presidency.

On the same token, do I feel a kinship with Ellen or Margaret, yes but when Wanda Sykes came out I was overjoyed and overcome with a sense of happiness and pride.  Unfortunately, the responders of my post are white women, and the majority of them are under 25.  Such naivety, and so much growing to do.  As much as we like to pretend that it doesn’t exist, racism, sexism, classism, homophobia, anti-Semitism is very much alive in our country.  Unfortunately with the election of our president it’s on the rise.

The tagline for After Ellen is “Visibility Matters”  Google “Famous Black Gay People” and tell me what you come up with.  I’ll wait.  First hit is the Black Voices list of 29?  Notice anything about the women??  There are a handful of black women mentioned-mostly all men.  A large amount of the black women have passed away, may all of their souls rest in peace.  Now, google Famous Gay People.  Famous and Gay is the first website with an alphabetized list of 700 famous gays.  Granted there are black folks in their too, but really?  Can you really not see the importance of Black Gay Female Visibility, people!?  Am I alone here?

Is it bad that I didn’t know about the TS Car bomb, or bad in a good way?

I’m going with Bad in a Good Way.  There are some things that I don’t think about on a constant basis and terrorism is one of them.  Every since I heard That Fucker Formerly Known as the President, talk about “terrists” and their threat to our country I stopped worrying about terrorists and their threat to our country.  I’m no fool and I’m definitely not naive.  I am fully aware that there is terrorist activity in the World and some of it goes on right here on the soil of the good ‘ole US of A. 

For instance, in Arizona, it is now legal for state governing officials to terrorize people who look like they could be an illegal immigrant.  I’m not quite sure what an illegal immigrant looks like but I sure as fuck won’t be going to Arizona any time soon.  The thing that pisses me off about that is that I actually wanted to go to Arizona in the near future.  Something about the desert, Native Americans, cacti, the desert.  Some how, though, I fear that with this dark skin, this nappy hair, the suspicious way in which I drive my car  that I’d most likely end up behind bars than posing next to a Saguaro cactus.

The other day I got a phone call from a panicked associate because she was running late.  Ever the strict boss-lady I put on my most severe tone and asked, “And just why are you going to be late, ___?”  Her response, “Because the NJPD just searched my duffel bag because I look like a terrorist, it must be my Arab eyes”  I’m not sure what nationality this girl is but she definitely could be of Arab decent which means that she’s a terrorist.  I’ve gone through Rockefeller Center with HUGE suitcases, duffel bags, empty bags and breezed right passed the NYPD table with not a second look.  I’ve also seen women with full head coverages and no purses being stopped by cops.  Clearly, I’d be the terrorist in that situation.  Woman with huge bag vs woman with no purse and head scarf-GO FOR THE ARAB!!

As a black woman I suppose I should be a little bit happy to see the “heat” deflected on another ethnic minority but I’d rather just give the man a huge middle finger in defense of all people of color-head scarf or not.  My associate, who’s not a terrorist but happens to look like one, is the sweetest girl you will ever meet.  She’s humble, a little awkward and has a heart of gold.  She doesn’t look threatening at all and on her way to work she gets stopped for over fifteen minutes just by how she looks?  The fact that cops in Arizona can stop and arrest someone for looking like an immigrant is preposterous.

If I were a white guy right now I’d go fucking nuts.  There’s an episode of the Boondocks in season one when two guys go into a convenience store to rob it and turn to accuse the Arab-looking man of having a gun.  He clearly does not have a gun and the white police officer who happens to be strolling in doesn’t see a gun either.  The original two guys continue to claim to see the gun until finally Officer Frank (Whitey) “sees” the gun and they shoot at the owner of the store.  If you’ve not seen the episode-watch it right here…It’s amazing start around the 4 minute mark if you want to get to the scene I’m talking about

It’s funny and provocative, as the Boondocks often is, but there’s something very telling there.  Thankfully, I’ve only been discriminated against based on my color a few times.  Pretty fucked up sentence, eh?  But it’s rare that a black person, and a black woman for that matter can say that.  I know a lot of people who have been discriminated against more than I have.  It’s almost as though none of us are safe these days.  It was such a huge step when we had not only a black man but a woman as candidates for the presidency.  You’d think that with a black man in office that the world would begin to see color as just a part of someone rather than what makes them.  Instead, our president is barely called by his rightful name from most right-winged Fox News watching Americans and half of them think he’s a terrorist based on his Arab name.  In this progressive country with the first black president  anyone who’s skin tone has even the slightest amount of melanin is looked at as illegal, a terrorist, or out to rob or rape you. 

I’d like to say that it’s bad but it’s really just bullshit.  I forget that the civil right’s movement was only 50 years ago and while that is a long time, in the history of discrimination, prejudice, and segregation it really isn’t.  With this new law on the books in AZ it’s almost as if we’ve stepped back into time rather than move forward.  It’s easy to complain and to bitch but what to do?  What can I do?  It’s one of those questions that I don’t have an answer to.

Mr. Transman 2010

Sunday night M and I went to Mr. Transman 2010 at the Knitting Factory in Williamsburg.  It was hosted by Murray Hill and featured great music from trans and queer bands, lots of beer, oh and of course a “pageant” of 8 really amazing transmen.  I’ve got a thing for a transman, I’m not even going to lie.  Sean Dorsey, if you’re out there and for some reason reading this.  I. Love. You.  Don’t worry, M knows ALL about my love for Sean Dorsey.  I fell in love with him at the Fresh Meat production when we were in San Francisco and I went to see him perform when he came to NYC.  I actually talked to him in San Francisco but that’s another fantasy story.

If we’re talking milestones the Mr. Transman contest is the first of its kind in the world (that’s what they said) and was hosted by Original Plumbing, a magazine by and for transmen (and the men and women who love them).  The event was sold out and while it was the first of its kind, it definitely won’t be the last as Mr. Transman was christened and will forever remain a staple in the NYC queer scene.  I’m a fan.  I’ll be there every year until I’m too old to be cool. 

The evening started with two performances before the actual competition took place.  All of the contestants were pretty unique.  A really tough-looking barber with a heart of gold, a sweet emo-boi looking for peace, a skinny, binded face mask wearing boy, a performer who dresses as a gay boy in drag, an urban cowboy wrestler and Kit.  I had my obligatory favorite, Team Kit, since we’d met up with some friends and they were with friends on Team Kit.  After the talent portion where Kit gave a ridiculously well crafted spoken word performance that had the crowd cheering and clapping for a good two minutes straight I was glad that I picked Team Kit.  He ended up winning Mr. Transman 2010 which not only an honor because he’s the first Mr. Transman title holder but because he gets a lot of fucking lube from Babeland. 

In all seriousness, the night was really outstanding and has me itching for more queer events in NYC.  There were so.  Seriously.  If ever there were a night to have a wandering eye Sunday was that night.  Of course I went home with my one true love but that doesn’t mean that there were dykes, lesbians, femmes, butches, bois, trans men of every flavor, if you will.  Really, whatever your preference in a person they were represented.  There were super butch black girls in fedoras and suspenders, emo-butch girls in thick glasses and tight graphic t-shirts.  Sexy femme girls with red lips, low-cut shirts, and tattoos.  Transmen kissing other transmen, gay men with transmen, trans men with femme girls, chubby butches with skinny femmes and chubby femmes with skinny butches.   Black, White, Asian, Latina, amen. 

Mr. Showbiz mentioned early in the night when the first Team Kit posters went up that it was nice to be at a queer event where the posters aren’t threatening or hateful and it was true.  As I held M’s hand and looked over my shoulder it was great to see same-sex couples embracing, kissing, snuggling.  It was nice to see queer girls cruising other queer girls.  It was great to go to the bathroom and have a hot boi check you out and ask your name as opposed to a dude calling you “baby” and telling you you look good. 

If you google Mr. Transman 2010 NYC you’ll get few websites mentioning it.   One, in particular, talks about the event in an article and the first comment was an ignorant dyke commenting, “Why would a dyke be interested in a transman contest?”   I can’t even get into it and chose not to ignore her, as the rest of the commenters did but is it so wrong to be inclusive?  Not all but most transgendered men were lesbians.  On a broader spectrum as LGBTQ individuals we have to stick together.  Stay strong for the common cause which is equal rights. It’s so infuriating to read such prejudice within the community.  The creator of Dapper Q, a new transmen’s fashion website, mentioned the riff in the community-especially from older dykes.  I’d argue that a few younger dykes are the same way and it makes zero sense.  I can only credit Rodney King and ask, “can’t we all just get along?”

NY State Denies Marriage Rights to Gays

I’ve been a twitter all afternoon.  Mirs sent me the link to the NY State Senate LiveStream this afternoon and I’ve been watching it in my bed (I’m sick) for the past two hours.  I was anxiously awaiting, after being so inspired by people like Sen. Parker and Sen. Perkins, to be able to call my mom and dad and announce that if we chose to do so, Mirs and I could marry legally in the state of New York.

Unfortunately bigotry, hate, and ignorance has prevented this from happening today.  I vote of 38-24 denied the rights of gays, lesbians, and transgendered people of New York from the basic civil right that is marriage. 

It’s beyond aggravating and the fact that bigotry and hatred are common law in a country that prides itself on acceptance, liberty, democracy, and equality continues to deny a large majority of its population liberty, democracy, and equality.  Shame on you, 38 mostly white, entirely republican and very scary “christians” hiding behind their bibles.

I don’t know if y’all remember my 29th birthday but I’ll summarize the most disappointing part.  A man on a bike stopped Mirs and I while we were walking, hand-in-hand out of the Museum of Natural History.  He told us we were sinning and that Jesus Christ found what we were doing (walking down the street?) was wrong.  Instead of ignoring him, calling him names, or starting a fist fight (all of which I wanted to do) I dropped Mirs’ hand and asked him a few questions-“Are you god?”  “Are you jesus?”  He answered no but that he was sent by god.  To which I responded that I didn’t know his god nor his son, jesus because the jesus that I know and love taught us to love each other as we love ourself.  That jesus hung out (and may or may not have had a relationship) with a hooker named mary that he made into one of his most trusted apostles.  The jesus I was familiar with was all-loving, nurturing, and most historically did not judge anyone-even while hanging on a cross.

So, I ask you, you 38 senators of the State of New York who just decided what’s best for the people of those 38 districts in New York (that presumably have zero gays or lesbian citizens) What Would Jesus Do?

in case you want to make any phone calls to your favorite bigoted senators…Hiram Monserrate’s district office : (718) 205-3881 and Albany office: (518) 455-2529

happy chrismakkah