Has the Opposite Sex Become Obsolete?

 

Season 3 Episode 34 Still

 

Truthfully, for this woman the answer to that question is yes, the opposite has become obsolete.  In a way.  I can’t wait for my not conceived children to meet their grandpa.  Last I checked you can only have a baby with sperm and I think that having strong men around is great.  I learned a lot from my father and my uncles.  Yet, even as a teenager I was pretty sure that women could rule the world and we would only need to keep around a few really smart, kind considerate males (in containment of course) for the purposes of breeding; both “natural” for those so inclined and the old fashioned turkey baster method. 

I was having a conversation with someone the other day and was so shocked by the questions coming out of their mouth that I decided I needed to post.  This person asked if I always knew that I was gay and wanted to know when I came out.  Answer- I came out at 28 and always knew that I was gay.  They then asked, “well don’t you miss having sex with men?” and my simple answer was No, I don’t miss it.

Interestingly last night I started watching Season 4 of SATC when Samantha starts to date Maria.  She and the girls have just met up at the coffee shop after a long weekend and Samantha starts in giving the ladies a very insightful look into the makings of lesbian sex.  We learn that Samantha has discovered every thing there is to know about the pussy.  She tells them she’s getting an education and not for nothing, a lot of women could do with a bit more learnin’ about their vaginas; gay and straight.  For Samantha, it’s just a new chapter in her sex book.  After two episodes she and Maria break up.  For me, and a lot of women who come out later in life, it’s about rediscovering who you are.

Thing is, I didn’t choose to be gay no more than I chose to be black.  I was born this way.  I did, however, choose to be straight for a very long time.  I made the conscious decision to live my life as a pseudo-straight person because I thought it would be easier for me and for my family.  Living and dating as a straight woman I had sex with men.  I will even put it out there that most of the time I had an okay time.  Other A lot of times I fantasized about having sex with women.

The first two times in the lesbo-sac were a bit rocky.  I didn’t know what I was doing and to call it awkward wouldn’t be a lie.  Then I had amazing sex and, well, let’s just say I’ve never looked back.  It’s not just about the sex, of course, it felt great because I was finally doing something that felt right.  Do I ever look at straight couples and wish I were in a hetero relationship?  Only when the realization of the ease at which they’re given civil rights and then it just makes me angry and want to work towards equal rights for all people.

While I’m not a hetero-phobe I’m definitely pro-other.  Whether that other is based on age, race, sexual orientation or religion the others out there need be recognized as equal in our society.  One of my friends posted on Facebook today that our country was ripe for a revolution and you know what?  I think we are.  We live in 2011 where a black man sits on the seat of the most powerful country in the world and last week thousands of Americans were given pink slips.  Reading in the NY Times today I learned that teachers in Wisconsin are being notified that they will be loosing their jobs, and only a fraction of them will be able to actually get those jobs back in the fall.  Women are continually paid less money and the rights of a woman to, as Representative Moore so eloquently stated, Plan her Parenthood is under attack.

While for me, in terms of sexual satisfaction the opposite sex has become obsolete we all need to stand together to make sure we’re all afforded the same rights.  Gay rights shouldn’t be the concern of LGBTQ individuals and their families only, it should be the concern of all Americans.  The rights of women shouldn’t just be a concern for women but any one who has a mother, sister, or aunt.  The rights of the disabled, the rights of the aging, the rights of unions the rights of every American should be the concern of every American.  Until we can get to that point, and as it seems we’re never going to reach that understanding, we need to rally.

Thank you to the New Yorkers who went downtown today to rally for the rights of others.  I was at work but with you in spirit.

10.08.10, My 31st Birthday and my first Flash Mob

A little after 6PM at New York’s Grand Central Terminal a whistle sounded three times.  After the third cry dozens of bodies slowly collapsed to the ground.

6PM on a Friday night in Grand Central Terminal is sort of a mash up of many things.  It’s a tourist stop and Friday is the day they all come to NYC.  It’s right after the work day when the trains to Westchester County and Fairfield County stop running express and drag on forever on the local schedule.  It’s where business men and women stop for drinks before heading home, it’s where brides and grooms take pictures after their NYC weddings.  On October 8, 2010, it let those busy, bustling people see the effects of homophobia.

property of Erika K. Davis

The fact is that Homophobia Kills.  It kills in a very real sense, the names of people we’ve lost due to homophobia were said aloud for all of those present could hear their names.  Homophobia also kills the soul.  When a gay youth is told that they are worthless, they are sinners, they are ugly, they are inhuman and they have no outlet or resource to give comfort their soul dies.  Just as a child should never be told they are stupid, no gay person should ever discount their worth. 

Property of Erika K. Davis

When people turn a blind eye to hateful words and ugly deeds, Homophobia Kills.  It was to be expected that hurried New Yorkers would walk over the bodies.  We were occupying one of the busiest spaces on the entire island, but the not seeing of the New Yorkers trying to make their trains, the lack of compassion to even stop and ask, the desire to not see the death around them was eye-opening and it’s more than just a metaphor it is reality.  People hear and see acts of violence done to LGBTQ people and instead of lending a hand, they walk away.

Tikkun Olam is Hebrew for repairing the world.  It is our duty, as Jews, to participate in the repair of the world on every level.  We grow up in a Christian society that spouts sayings like, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” but its loaded and rattled with inequalities.  Our society as always put some one, some class, some minority aside or down to lift another up.  We cannot sit idly by and watch this continue to happen.  I urge you, no I implore you to do what you can to repair the world. 

I often wonder what happened to the Civil Rights activists of the 60s and 70s, did they not teach their children to act up?  Why aren’t some of us, folks in our late 20s and 30s, children of these activists more active?  When they saw the world around them filled with injustice and inequality they marched, we hop online.  Personally, I always say but rarely do. 

Yesterday was my birthday and I felt alive watching the dead bodies lie in Grand Central Terminal.  I felt moved in a way I haven’t felt in a long time.  I was inspired and I was angry but the thing that I realized is that I should only be angry with myself for not moving, talking, acting sooner and found inspiration in those who gave their lives, unwillingly, to the cause.

Come out, Come out Where ever You are?

I used to feel this way and in some instances I think that it stands.  Celebrities, for example, should always come out with their homo flags flying.  It’s important that media figures, artists, actors, actresses, musicians, and political figures come out with their gay guns blazing.  It’s important that they show the world that they’re comfortable in their homo skin and it shows America and the world that gay comes in many different forms.  When celebrities come out it allows small town girl in Michigan that there are people out there who are like her, who are different, who are gay.

I feel the same way about showing positive images of women, people of color, and other minorities on television.  It doesn’t help society when all blacks are portrayed as absent minded, drug addict gang bangers.  Showing Asians as smart, good-doer prudes and Latinos as knife swinging, tequilla drinking thugs.  Just as gay men prancing around in glitter and tights don’t do gays any good.  Fact of the matter is that there are limp wristed gay boys, black men and women in gangs, Mexicans swigging tequilla, and an Asian girl getting into Princeton with her perfect SAT scores and GPA.  The vast majority of minorities fall in the middle, though.  Don’t we?

When you have positive images in the media of minority people it allows you to see a projection of yourself or a projection of who you aspire to be.  It is for this reason that I get angry when the media keeps shoveling the same bullshit down our throats.  It’s also why I stood on the side of come out ,be proud.  Until those teenagers took their lives for being who they are.  My tune has shifted a bit because it’s not always safe to come out and be who you are.  I applaud those young boys in glee club who wave their homosexual flag for the world to see.  I love the teen who refused to attend prom if not on the arm of her girlfriend.  On the other hand, there are so many different places and spaces where being gay, or perceived to be gay is like standing in front of a firing squad.

Growing up, I knew that I was gay.  I can remember my first realization when I had my first job at 15 at a local hotdog chain.  My boss and I were closing and she leaned over.  I could see down her shirt and she wasn’t wearing a bra.  Her breasts were small and perfect and the moment my eyes caught sight of her perfectly perky pink nipples there was an immediate warmth and aching in my shorts I never felt when I was in the back seat of a car making out with the pimply faced boyfriend I had.  I knew I was gay and waited 13 years to come out later.  It’s not that Toledo, Ohio was an anti-gay place, I just wasn’t ready to admit who I was. 

After the alarming number of recent suicides I’m feeling a little different.  I love Dan Savage’s It Gets Better Project but on the other hand, I think that keeping kids safe is more important.  Schools need to have better laws, restrictions, and groups that support LGBTQ and questioning students.  Gay and Straight alliances aren’t an option in this day in age, they are required just as the Math Club or Student Council are mainstays of high school life.  There needs to be more safe spaces for LGBTQ youth to go to when they feel like there is no place to turn and parents need to come to the reality that their children may be gay.  Education on so many levels is severely lacking in our country and gay issues is one of the areas.  In the public school system, tolerance doesn’t need to be taught, acceptance needs to be the norm.   Lastly, so many of us, me included, need to do something to make it better for kids instead of waiting for someone to pick up the slack for us.

Black Women I Wish Were Gay (or Just Come Out, Already) Part Deux

This is a Rant so be prepared.

There are only a few Lesbian Websites that I visit with any regularity and one of them is AE.  I don’t visit too much because as of late, the content has been a little lack luster.  I’ll mosey on over every other day and find something that I like to read, something inspiring, something about a Queer woman of color, or amazing list of books I absolutely must read this summer.  Wednesday was no different, I found a sweet article about Dyke Fashion (cut off shorts are back!) Did they ever go away?  (No)  and my favorite would-be lesbo, Queen Latifah article about her recent Upscale Magazine cover.  Here’s the AE Link. Hopefully you can read all of the silly comments behind mine.

http://www.afterellen.com/blog/stuntdouble/afternoon-delight-wednesday-june-16

Sorry you have to cut and paste but hopefully you did.  I mean, am I crazy or is it not important for Black Queer Visibility for these women to come out?!  I mean, come on!  I totally get that what you do behind your closed doors is your business but the importance of celebrity, possibly the most important thing about celebrity is the visibility.  I’m not a Black Pride, Down with the Man black woman.  As much as my father tried to make me, I’m not.  I’m in love with a Jew (which is better than white yet in some cases not, right?)  I mean, really.  But as a black woman who will be raising black jewish children seeing a face that you can recognize is important.

I don’t relate to all black people, I never have and I never will.  I don’t like it all the time when people refer to me as “sister”  on the train (mainly because they’re leering men and I find it disturbing)  I never ever quite had as much rhythm as I’m “supposed” to have and I don’t, under any circumstance, think that all black people are the same but we’re not.  There is something to be said, though, about the recognition of blackness around you.

Did I vote for Barack Obama because he’s a black man?  No.  In my opinion he’s mixed race but in this race-obssessed world he’s black.  I do, however, feel a sense of pride in knowing that he’s a black man and my president.  I would feel the same pride if Senator Clinton had won the nomination and inevitably one the presidency.

On the same token, do I feel a kinship with Ellen or Margaret, yes but when Wanda Sykes came out I was overjoyed and overcome with a sense of happiness and pride.  Unfortunately, the responders of my post are white women, and the majority of them are under 25.  Such naivety, and so much growing to do.  As much as we like to pretend that it doesn’t exist, racism, sexism, classism, homophobia, anti-Semitism is very much alive in our country.  Unfortunately with the election of our president it’s on the rise.

The tagline for After Ellen is “Visibility Matters”  Google “Famous Black Gay People” and tell me what you come up with.  I’ll wait.  First hit is the Black Voices list of 29?  Notice anything about the women??  There are a handful of black women mentioned-mostly all men.  A large amount of the black women have passed away, may all of their souls rest in peace.  Now, google Famous Gay People.  Famous and Gay is the first website with an alphabetized list of 700 famous gays.  Granted there are black folks in their too, but really?  Can you really not see the importance of Black Gay Female Visibility, people!?  Am I alone here?

Lesbians Like Porn

I’m not sure if that’s a factual statement but this lesbian likes porn so I’m sticking.  I found this amazing website that features a great selection of queer porn.  http://lesbian.hotmoviesforher.com/index.php?CLICK=224380&ct=9786  For those of you who aren’t masters of the lesbo porn world this is what I’ve discovered.  “Lesbian Porn” even those directed by women tend to be a little bit more hetero-focused.  For example, there are usually really odd sex toys in use; Really hard-looking plastic dildos, battery operated vibrators, etc.  There are also quite often acrylic nails painted candy apple red.  The major distinction is the plethora of fake boobs and lack of any body hair.

Queer porn, on the other hand is way more fun.  There’s a clear preference for safe sex, condoms on silicone dildos, black latex gloves, dental dams in a lot of the films I’ve seen.  There are also more of “my kind” of dykes.  Funky hair cuts, tattoos, a little androgynous.  And while there’s an appreciation for a femme girl in heels her nails are short candy apple red, she may have a Betty Paige hair cut, and her entire arm will be covered in tattoos.

There you have it Lesbian Porn vs. Queer Porn.  It has to be said that under the umbrella of Queer Porn there is an appreciation and acceptance of transgendered boys and as we know, Erika Loves Transmen.  I do, sue me.

The thing I love about porn is that it’s a fantasy, an escape, a look into a life (scripted, staged, and paid) that you probably don’t live, most likely don’t want to live, but what if you did I wander what that would be like…More than that-it’s fun!  I’m not one of those folks who bash porn-especially queer porn…I will acknowledge that it’s not for everyone so I apologize if I’ve offended you.

PRIDE

It’s June 1st-the start of Pride Month!!  As an adolescent lesbian I still get extremely excited for Pride.  My first Pride I watched hand-in-hand with a girl I was crushing on who turned out to be the love of my life.  Last year for Pride I attended Queens Pride and the Dyke March in addition to the Manhattan Pride Parade.  This year, I’m going to try to hit up all of the Pride Parades I can…with the exception of Staten Island Pride because I’ve never been to Staten Island for longer than 2 minutes to get back on the Ferry to Manhattan.

Here are the Pride Schedules for 2010 in chronological order.

http://chasiny.org/silgbtcenter/Parade%20&%20Festival%202010.htm

 http://www.queenspride.com/

http://www.brooklynpride.org/

http://dykemarchnyc.org/Home.html

http://www.nycpride.org/

Not to mention all of the amazing parties!!  Like the DOB-C Pride Party on June 5th which you all know about and should be attending because, it’s Pride in NYC, ladies!!

Mr. Transman 2010

Sunday night M and I went to Mr. Transman 2010 at the Knitting Factory in Williamsburg.  It was hosted by Murray Hill and featured great music from trans and queer bands, lots of beer, oh and of course a “pageant” of 8 really amazing transmen.  I’ve got a thing for a transman, I’m not even going to lie.  Sean Dorsey, if you’re out there and for some reason reading this.  I. Love. You.  Don’t worry, M knows ALL about my love for Sean Dorsey.  I fell in love with him at the Fresh Meat production when we were in San Francisco and I went to see him perform when he came to NYC.  I actually talked to him in San Francisco but that’s another fantasy story.

http://www.villagevoice.com/slideshow/mr-transman-2010-nsfw-29763235/8/?play=true

If we’re talking milestones the Mr. Transman contest is the first of its kind in the world (that’s what they said) and was hosted by Original Plumbing, a magazine by and for transmen (and the men and women who love them).  The event was sold out and while it was the first of its kind, it definitely won’t be the last as Mr. Transman was christened and will forever remain a staple in the NYC queer scene.  I’m a fan.  I’ll be there every year until I’m too old to be cool. 

The evening started with two performances before the actual competition took place.  All of the contestants were pretty unique.  A really tough-looking barber with a heart of gold, a sweet emo-boi looking for peace, a skinny, binded face mask wearing boy, a performer who dresses as a gay boy in drag, an urban cowboy wrestler and Kit.  I had my obligatory favorite, Team Kit, since we’d met up with some friends and they were with friends on Team Kit.  After the talent portion where Kit gave a ridiculously well crafted spoken word performance that had the crowd cheering and clapping for a good two minutes straight I was glad that I picked Team Kit.  He ended up winning Mr. Transman 2010 which not only an honor because he’s the first Mr. Transman title holder but because he gets a lot of fucking lube from Babeland. 

In all seriousness, the night was really outstanding and has me itching for more queer events in NYC.  There were so. many.hot.girls.  Seriously.  If ever there were a night to have a wandering eye Sunday was that night.  Of course I went home with my one true love but that doesn’t mean that there were dykes, lesbians, femmes, butches, bois, trans men of every flavor, if you will.  Really, whatever your preference in a person they were represented.  There were super butch black girls in fedoras and suspenders, emo-butch girls in thick glasses and tight graphic t-shirts.  Sexy femme girls with red lips, low-cut shirts, and tattoos.  Transmen kissing other transmen, gay men with transmen, trans men with femme girls, chubby butches with skinny femmes and chubby femmes with skinny butches.   Black, White, Asian, Latina, amen. 

Mr. Showbiz mentioned early in the night when the first Team Kit posters went up that it was nice to be at a queer event where the posters aren’t threatening or hateful and it was true.  As I held M’s hand and looked over my shoulder it was great to see same-sex couples embracing, kissing, snuggling.  It was nice to see queer girls cruising other queer girls.  It was great to go to the bathroom and have a hot boi check you out and ask your name as opposed to a dude calling you “baby” and telling you you look good. 

If you google Mr. Transman 2010 NYC you’ll get few websites mentioning it.   One, in particular, talks about the event in an article and the first comment was an ignorant dyke commenting, “Why would a dyke be interested in a transman contest?”   I can’t even get into it and chose not to ignore her, as the rest of the commenters did but is it so wrong to be inclusive?  Not all but most transgendered men were lesbians.  On a broader spectrum as LGBTQ individuals we have to stick together.  Stay strong for the common cause which is equal rights. It’s so infuriating to read such prejudice within the community.  The creator of Dapper Q, a new transmen’s fashion website, mentioned the riff in the community-especially from older dykes.  I’d argue that a few younger dykes are the same way and it makes zero sense.  I can only credit Rodney King and ask, “can’t we all just get along?”

In Celebration Of Black History Month 2

Today’s Influential Black LBGT Pick is…

Me’Shell Ndegeocello

www.freemyheart.com

I first heard of Me’Shell back in the 90’s with this duet with John Mellencamp’s revisit of the song “Wild Nights.”   The song itself is catchy and there was something about this woman with the shaved head and cool shades wailing on the guitar that stirred something in me.  Keep in mind that back then, I rejected anything or anyone too radical, too gay-ish, or overtly “weird”.  I didnt’ seek out her CD to purchase or even consider getting the single.  I just enjoyed the song when it came on my top 40 radio station.

Fast Forward to my hands down favorite Lesbian Movie, “Lost and Delirious” during the amazingly beautiful, tender, and incredibly sexy sex scene the unmistakable voice that is Me’Shell pierces through the bodies and you can’t imagine it working without the song, “Beautiful”  off of her Bitter album.  The song is just that-Undeniable beautiful, soulful, frank, and that voice…incredibly sexy.

So when AE did a story on Me’Shell and her latest album, Devil’s Halo I instantly went to my iTunes account and downloaded it.  It’s full of all of the things I love about her-the voice, of course, the guitar riffs, the experimentation of genres and an amazing cover of “Love You Down”

She’s been linked to Rebecca Walker romantically, she’s done back up vocals from everyone from Madonna to the Indigo Girls.  She’s never hid her sexuality, wears her androgyny for the world to see while continuing to change the face of music today.  Bravo, Me’Shell!  You can sing me to sleep with that guitar any time you want.

 

the top and/or bottom phenomenon

I wrote a post about being either a “top” or a “bottom” a while ago.  I’m pretty sure that it’s password blocked.  But feel free to follow the instructions on How to Get Passwords for Blocked Posts and you’ll get to read all about it.  I don’t really identify as either.  I have my preferences at times but it’s all good sexy fun for me-when you get down to it.

The subject has come up twice now with one of my really good friends.

Scenario 1-

We were at RF Lounge the Thursday before my birthday party.  I needed a venue that was lesbian, smaller, quiet, but with a good atmosphere where my friends and I could party the night away in celebration of my thirtieth year of life.  When we went the Thursday before my birthday we were feeling a little bad for the RF Lounge.  It was the first few weeks of it’s opening and there were only about 7 patrons in the place, one of which racked up a substantial bill and was having trouble figuring out why her credit card wasn’t going through.

We ponied up to the bar, ordered a few drinks, and made friends with the bar tender.  Her name was Stacy( or Stephanie or some other S name I can’t remember)  She had short blonde hair and was wearing a tank top and short shorts with white tube socks and sneakers.  She was friendly and easy to chat with.  After our drinks we agreed that the RF Lounge would be the venue for my birthday the following week and we got ready to bid our farewells to Stacy/Stephanie/S-Name.  She came around the bar and gave me a bro hug-you know; Right hand to right hand left hand slaps back.  She then turns to my friend who goes in for the bro hug, yanks her into a girl hug, bodies pressed close together and finishes it with a pull to the back of my friend’s hair.

As we walked down the street to hail our separate cabs I joked to my friend that she may have found a new girl. 

To which she responded, “Her?  No, I feel like she’d wanna strap in on and put it in me!”  or something to that effect.

“You never know, you could get into it,”  I pressed. 

“No, not at all,”  she said.

I dropped it, gave her a girl hug (without pulling her hair) and sent her on her way.

This friend definitely “looks like a lesbian.”  She’s got that cool white-girl lesbian look-the awesome hair cut, the bad-ass tattoos, the sweet sneakers, the great fitting jeans.  Always a graphic T-shirt or V-Neck T-Shirt.  Usually a scarf and a hat of some sort and the Dyke Swagger.  It’s hot.  I have straight girl friends and a gay boy friend who have hard-core crushes on her.  And while I like to think I ooze hot black girl lesbian with a femme persuasion I’m forever getting hit on by men and barely get hit on by gay women.   It’s very clear to me that my friend is definitely a Top.  She has Top Swagger-God I wish I had that shit I wish I had Dyke Swagger. 

Scenario 2

Same friend was recently injured on her bike.  She’s doing amazingly well and she’ s since met a beautiful woman (at my birthday party) and they’re cute and in love.  We were chatting on the phone about her injured arm and she expressed frustration in that she’s having a hard time holding up her body weight.  It seems that it’s not the bruised leg, the cracked helmet, or even the scratches to her wicked expensive bike that are the pressing problems with the residual injury-it’s the not being able to top her girlfriend.

I chuckled but knew she was completely serious when she told me that she’s be informing her PT that the not making love to her girl friend part was the most important issue they needed to tackle.  I again offered a solution, why not enjoy bottoming for a bit?  Her response, again paraphrased, reiterated her top identity. 

Hmmm.  So back to me where do I fit into the Top and/or Bottom Phenomenon?  That’s just it.  It’s an and/or thing for me and I’m pretty comfortable with it.  My lack of identifying in terms of Femme, Butch, Boi, Andro, Stud, Top, Bottom, etc. is perfectly evident in my need or lack there of.  I like it both ways.

I can only speak for myself.  It’s not a big thing for me.  Yet, when I talk to friends or research online it’s clear that there are definitely folks for whom topping or bottoming is pretty cut and dry.  I was just browsing topics on About.com’s Lesbian Life page and some questions posed were “Is it okay to perform oral sex on my stud partner?” or “How Do I please my Butch Lover?” 

Maybe it’s because I spent so many years in the closet having boring straight sex but I can’t imagine solely being in a “top” and “bottom” butch/femme relationship where roles of masculinity and femininity are played out in the bedroom.  On the other hand, getting topped from out of the blue and then getting really aggressive and toppy is really hot.  C’est la vie!  To each her own.  But I like my cake and I’ll eat it to!

So, How do You Identify?

LBGT…minus the T, if you please

I was just cruising around my favorite (but getting to be a little annoying) cyber lesbian hangout, After Ellen.  Don’t get me wrong, I love the site for the most part.  There’s always such interesting information and the forum topics, although mostly posted by 17 year old baby dykes, can be entertaining as well as educational.  One, in particular, annoyed me today.  An AEer was pissy because an AE staffer posted a blog about President Obama’s newest nomination of a transgendered woman to the Department of Commerce.

When I read the headline I immediately thought, “Bravo, Mr. President!  Way to make good one some of your campaign promises to be a bigger support to the LBGT community!”  Most of the commenters had the same sentiment.  Great start-now keep on truckin’ man!  One, in particular, ruffled my feathers because the woman newly nominated to the Department of Commerce wasn’t a lesbian she didn’t feel she should be mentioned on the site.  Really?  Is that where we are as a community?  I think not.

The thing about a community is that you have to be in it to win it.  Each member of the community has to do their part in order for the community to be successful.  In order for the community to be successful they have to work together, towards a common goal.  That common goal, in the LBGT community is equal rights.  The thing that was the most frustrating is the ignorance.  It’s the same kind of ignorance that the straight world has in regard to LBGT issues.  Some straight people are completely clueless to our issues as a community, to the injustices we face as a community and just because someone gets gender reassignment surgery doesn’t mean that their problems magically disappear.  As far as I know (and I could be wrong) you can’t alter your birth certificate.  You definitely cannot alter your internal organs.  Therefore, while being respectful of a transgendered person’s identity and using masculine or feminine pronouns, that person is still trans.

For Thanksgaving this year I got to hang out with one of my friends and her boyfriend.  This friend is a gay girl and her boyfriend is transgendered.  He’s one of the most open transgendered people I’ve met in that he referred to himself both ways throughout the entire night because he is male but he’s also transgendered.  I know that in all situations that way of referring to yourself isn’t the safest.  God knows that so many transgendered men and woman are brutally assaulted every day because of who they are.  On the other hand, having a voice and letting your voice be heard is what the main-stream straight world from Podunk, Idaho needs to hear and see.  They need to see that being transgendered doesn’t mean that you fly a freak flag.  Transgendered people are not oddities or weirdos or whatever folks who are ignorant say.  They are people.  Period.

Reading ignorance from a person who’s part of the LBGT community, in defense of her safe cyber space as a lesbian was enraging.  It reeks of elitism.  It was as if this person thought of herself better than this woman who is forging the way for so many LBGT people.  To be a transgendered woman working for the government of the United States of America!?  What a coup.  I salute you, Amanda Simpson.  Bravo!  I’m so glad to have you as a part of my community and family.