My lady love and I are, that’s who! One of my friends, Kylee, got hitched a while back and is having her reception in the good ole Toledo, Ohio. It’s the first time I’ve been back home in a long while-since at least March and it is the first time I’m brining Mirs along with me.
We’ve been dating for 28 months and we’ve only met a few of each other’s family members. Actually, now that I write this down it has occurred to me that she’s met more of my family than I’ve met of hers. Still, meeting the parents is definitely a big one. It means that we’re serious. Things are serious. Our relationship is serious.
When we first started dating her parents came into town and she casually asked if I wanted to meet them out. We’d only been seeing each other for a few weeks, perhaps a month or so, and it seemed way too soon to meet her folks. I politely declined the invitation and waited impatiently for the long weekend to be over so that I could come to her house or invite her over for that really hot first-few-months-of-a-relationship-crazy-sex phase. Since neither of our parents have come to NYC the chance to meet again hasn’t come up. When the invitation for Kylee’s reception came in the mail I asked Mirs if she wanted to come up and the way her face lit up is still imprinted on my mind. She was genuinely excited about the prospect of coming home.
Now, with only a few days to go, the nerves are kicking in a bit. After eating an amazing dinner of veggie enchiladas that she prepared and a bottle of wine we started to unwind in bed. She asked me what she needed to know about my mother, my father, what to expect. I answered her questions willingly but was sort of puzzled at her sudden concern. I told her that there were thing she could expect from both of them, but mainly that they were warm and welcoming people. We talked about what we’d bring them, taking them to dinner and sleeping arrangements (my parents are painfully old fashioned. No bunking unless you’re married). When we snuggled under the blankets and started to watch ProRun it dawned on me that this was a big deal for her. I’m going home and bringing her along but she’s getting a crash course into our family with all of its ups and downs. Completely out of her comfort zone, she will be the lone white girl in a black household and she’s nervous, rightfully so.
Her mother extended an invitation to come home for Christmas which I politely declined. I’m not sure how I’m going to tell my own parents I won’t be home for Christmas and it will have nothing to do with my Judaism. There’s no way they’d hear of my flying down south to spend an important holiday like Christmas with another family instead. But when my time comes to visit her home I’m sure I will be an even larger bundle of nerves. She’s a southerner coming to Yankee land but it’s no comparison for this Black girl going below the Mason Dixon into a white Republican household. Thank G-d I’ve got the Jew card in my pocket to play.