This is the second post I’ve started with, “I had a quarter-life crisis” but I did! When I was 25. I was on the couch in my apartment crying on the phone to my mother rather than going to her house because I didn’t want her to see me in that state of mess.
Fast-Forward to my almost 31st birthday (3 months away) and I think I’m having another one. I spent the weekend with my cousin who was in from DC and she reported to my mother that I seemed sad. Apparently, I’m not as good at hiding it then I used to be. I don’t feel sad, per se, but I’m definitely having an existential thing. It has a lot to do with wanting to do my passion-Living my life as a Writer (who gets paid) vs. The Real World and I’m not talking about that MTV Social experiment that started the Reality TV phenomenon.
With the help of my girlfriend who is going to be the best therapist on the planet I’ve decided to put it all on paper and working it all out. It’s been helpful yet completely over whelming at the same time. I’ve had to take a lot of cleansing breaths lately to try to keep things in check. I’m not going to regale you my lists of pros, cons, steps to take, etc. but let’s just say that it’s making me realize a lot of things. Things good and bad but definitely things. I’ve decided to start a new writing project which I’m actually really excited about. I’ve also decided to write this project in a note book for the first draft and it feels good to see my hand writing on lined paper again instead of on this computer screen. Who knows, when I publish the manuscript the first draft could be a collector’s item that big names try to get my grandchildren to sell but instead they loan them out to university museums.
If I read The Secret, I suppose this would be the time when I visualize what I want so that I can get it. Because I didn’t read the secret but spent about 5 years as a practicing Wiccan I’m sure they just call that a spell. Spell, Visualization, Prayer, Meditation, Mantra they’re really all the same aren’t they? They’re putting your mind on one point. One very important point that you put your mind to in complete and utter concentration. You put energy into it, you breathe life into it, you see it, feel it, smell it until it manifests itself to you in physical form. Whether that physical form be career success or a healthier body it all works because you believe that it will. There’s nothing magickal about it, really, because the true magick is in the person who believes that it’s true. Some people call that faith. I suppose it is.