After Pride, Where Do The Homos Go (and Other Important Questions)

After washing my face 4 times the night after NYC Pride and once again the following morning I was finally able to get all of the green eye shadow, the fake feather lashes, and red glitter that would make Dorothy as green as the Wicked Witch of the West with envy.  My rainbow painted finger nails are slowly chipping away in wonderfully ironic “who gives a fuck” lesbian chick and my toesies are still rockin’ their PRIDE.  I’m back to work, toiling away, and getting hit on by men and it made me wonder-Where Did All the Homos Go? 

I captured this moment at the Dyke March on Saturday

Clearly, we’re every where it’s just that we don’t see each other as much after Pride.  I mean, during Pride it feels like the entire city is LGBTQ.  I took the train home at 2AM on Sunday night a little nervous because of my crazy make up, short shorts, Dykes on Bike-Cycles T-Shirt and rainbow painted nails.  Just the day before in broad daylight a woman on 2nd Ave called me a “Faggot-ass mother fucker” so I was sure that I was going to get harassed on the train.  Instead Latina and black gays and lesbians piled on the train with me at West Fourth and rode all the way to my stop in very West Indian Brooklyn with their rainbow flags, holding hands without a timid or watchful glance.  The next day walking down the street No Homos, and I’m not quoting Kanye here.  I literally saw zero visible homos.

I am aware that everyday is not appropriate for men to walk around bare-chested with glitter and feathers but for the whole of the weekend there’s such a wonderful feeling of community.  Whether or not you’re at a party you are guaranteed to see at least 5 same-sex couples in about an hour.  On the train, walking down the street, riding bikes.  The out and proud t-shirts are abundant, the smiles come easily, and it’s as if we can finally live our lives like normal people because we are normal people.  It saddens me that out of the entire year for only one weekend we can feel comfortable being ourselves. 

Mirs and I walk down the street holding hands often but it’s interesting when we drop hands.  We can take a turn down an unfamilair street or just as we’re about to board a train, or walking through a neighborhood that’s not our own we stop being girlfriend and just walk as “friends” until we’ve sussed out the situation and assured ourselves that it’s ok.  I know a guy who used to hold his boyfriend’s hand on the L train until they got to a certain stop.  After that stop they’d keep their hands on their individual laps and walk side-by-side until they arrived home…

On a more cheerful note, why don’t more Dykes get dolled up for Pride!?  I mean, come on, ladies!  I had an amazing response from gay men all day about my “fabulous, fierce, amazing, hot, make up I was werkin’ ”  It didn’t have the same affect as it could have had I decided to ride my bike with a dress and heels on but it was pretty slammin’ if I do say so myself.  Thing is, it was So. Much. Fun.  Besides Halloween, where straight girls dress up like hookers and get all dolled up, when else is it appropriate to wear outlandishly festive make up?  Never.   Ladies, no Lesbians, come on.  Whether you identify as Femme or not for one day, can’t we out do the boys?

Why can't I do this EVERY DAY!?

11 thoughts on “After Pride, Where Do The Homos Go (and Other Important Questions)

  1. i understand, to some degree. i was a Deadhead back in the day (that is, back in the day when i couldn’t understand how anybody could “used to be a Deadhead”), and Dead shows felt the same way. most everybody was on the same wavelength, and it was a wavelength entirely different from, and much more positive, cooperative, and enjoyable than, the one everybody else was on. and the day after the show it was usually just gone. *poof!* except for the memories, and the sadness at its being gone, and all that was left was everybody else’s commercially-driven, spiritually- and emotionally-impoverished wavelength.

    i agree that it’s a damn shame you can’t dress up the way you want to every day, and i fail to see any good reason why “everyday is not appropriate for men to walk around bare-chested with glitter and feathers.” why the &*%$?@ not??

    in the answer to that question lies the answer to many of humanity’s present difficulties and discomforts.

    • Very true, my friend! Alas, “straight” society, which ever way you swing it, isn’t ready for all of this …

      • utter crap indeed. well at least there *are* those of us around who have seen first-hand the disparity between what everyday life is and what it *could* be…and i guess it’s our job to spread the word. just like you’re doing with this post. you go, Girl. 😉

  2. I don’t see why you can’t wear all that on a daily basis (unless your job requires you to be dressed different of course).

    I was at pride and it didn’t occur to me to really dress up. I suppose Pride is like Carnival for glbts but I just like to be comfortable = everyday clothes, no makeup.

    Carnival is another story tho.

    And when my gf comes to visit, you’re right….by the time we hit certain stops we’re not as cuddly and cozy.

    • I’m dying to see a Carnival celebration! I’d love to wear excessive make up on a daily basis, too, but probably wouldn’t! 🙂

  3. wow, girl. Intereting blog here. I will have to come back from time to time.

    I’m married but lived the gay life off and on when I was younger and fell in love/lust (I guess it was lust because I wanted to have sex with her so bad) with a black girl at army basic training boot camp in ’87. She was a really butchy but so cute, I guess her face looked like the middle Jonas brother from Disney and she was crazy about me too. She kissed me one time when we had fire guard together but that was it.

    Hmmm, wow that was a blast from the past. I guess that memory has been buried for oh say 23 years! haahh But thank you for the memory!

      • Yes thank you. I meant to tell you the pic of you (I presume) is great I like it a lot.

        Are you fem or butch?

        Is the word butch still used? haha

      • You’ve gotta read the blog, my friend. You’d see that I don’t identify as either. In my opinion, Dyke Culture cannot be put into just two groups; femme or butch. There’s so much beautiful grey area. Gender queer, Andro, Bois, Trans…the list goes on and on.
        Personally, I think lables are limiting. A lot of people cannot see passed them and they cause people to try to fit into little boxes that are too big for the entire sphere that is LESBIAN.

  4. Hey OhiolezinNYC thanks for the education here as you can see I’ve been out of the “loop” a long time 🙂

    Yes, I did read your post just didn’t pay enough attention to detail. Yes, your make up was very nice, do it again and enjoy yourself it sounds like you had a real good time and thanks for being so kind.

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