A while back I told a commenter that I’d make Mondays Masturbation Mondays. I made the sort of joke because at the time Masturbation Station was getting all of the hits on my blog. It seems that as of late it’s not the masturbation that’s bringing in the readers it’s the Lesbian Fashion post that’s getting all of the love. In the past week alone the “What Is Lesbian Fashion” post has received over 1000 hits! So Monday should be Lesbian Fashion Monday? I dunno, Masturbation Monday has such a better ring to it. We’ll stick with Masturbation Monday and maybe Lesbo Fashion Friday! Ohhh, I like that.
Saturday M and I went to Babeland in SoHo. I don’t know if it was because of the weekend, the tourists, or Valentine’s Day but it was very hetero in that place. The staff was, as always, really attentive, very sweet, and super cute but the clientelle was very straight. Normally I hit up the LES location and it tends to be a bit queerer so maybe it was just the lcoation? I don’t straight bash. I love my straight friends and I have so many wonderful straight allies but when I go into a sex toy store that’s owned by two women and generally staffed by mostly queer folks it’s a little, well annoying, to be surrounded by so many straight couples giggling and pointing at sex toys. Maybe it’s because I go in there on a mission to find something specific rather than as a novelty but when I go into Babeland I’m pretty serious about my shopping trip. And while I’ll most likely pick up something that catches my eye and turn on the switch to give it a test run I don’t giggle like a school girl, I think, “Will this get me off?” Don’t get me wrong, sometimes an orgasm can make you erupt into a fit of laughter but that’s pretty rare for me. It’s not that when I’m shopping for sex toys I’m completely stone-faced and serious, I’m not. I just don’t need straight girls pointing at packing cocks and shrieking in mock-horror. It’s a packing cock, the little sign says just that!
It occurred to me on the fifth straight night of my upstairs neighbor’s very loud sex that maybe everyone can hear me, too. I mean, the location of my bedroom is right in an air shaft. I can not only hear everything that happens between these two buildings and all 4 floors but I can hear through the walls as well. I’m not talking muffled sounds, I mean clearly listen to a couple argue over an electric bill or hear a mother talk her son through a math equation kind of hearing. My favorite vibrator is my Hitachi but it kind of sounds like it plugs into the wall. You know what I mean? Of course it does plug into the wall but that sucker sounds like it’s plugged in. I suppose they could think that I’m grinding coffee or making something in a blender but I’m sure I’m not fooling anyone. It may be time for a quieter vibrator for late night self-love.
It looks a little space-aged, I know. It’s pink and kind of resembles a bunny but read how Babeland online describes those ears… “the Form 2 offers more than twice the power of other vibrators, thanks to dual vibrating “ears” that surround the clit. Unlike other vibrators, the flexible tip of each ear is powered with four vibration modes and five power settings, so you can slide, flutter, and vibrate to your heart’s content.” A-hem. Silly Rabbit. Even with the hefty $135 Price Tag I’m fairly certain that this luxury vibrator will be making its entrance to my humble abode in the very near future. And no one in my building will know the difference.