I’ve been home since Sunday and I think I may be losing my mind. I spent the early morning hours last night talking to my 3-year-old nephew on the toilet while he took a crap. Yup. That was my evening. My mother retired early as did my 4 month old nephew and my 3-year-old nephew. I was settling into some History Channel on cable television when my sweet little guy came out into the living room to “whay on the couch with me” We snuggled under the crocheted blanket for a few moments before I convinced him that we should both “whay” in his bed. After a sip from his cup, after debate on which side we’d sleep on we settled into sleep.
Then he tossed. From his right side to his left. Then from his back to his stomach and on his stomach he squirmed himself from the middle of the bed to the top of the bed. From the top of the bed to the middle of the bed. He pulled his knees to his chest and laid for a while with his butt in the air before turning back on to his back and saying in a whisper, “my tummy hurts, can you whub it?”
I “whubbed” his belly for a few moments and asked him if he needed to go potty. He declined my offer and tossed and turned again on his back for his belly to be “whubbed” I whubbed it again and felt his little belly grumble (too much information?) we whubbed a bit more before he conceded and went to the bath room. Usually when Jullian is going number 2 he asks for privacy. I think his exact wording is, “get out of here!” Instead I was invited in the bathroom and encouraged to carry on a conversation with my little guy while he took a monster dump. We talked about race, his nana and his mommy and how when he was done going potty we should watch some TV in his bedroom.
That was my evening. My day consisted of wandering around Toledo looking for organic food. You know what I found? A lack of organic food. That’s right. In the great city that is Toledo, Ohio there is little organic food options and if you’re a meat eater there are zero organic options. You read that correctly, ZERO organic meat options in the city. I went to three different grocery stores and after a tip from a friend I went to place called “Fresh Market” where it seemed I would have some success. I found some organic Kale, organic Sweet Potatoes, Organic fruits and veggies. I was so enamored with the produce I didn’t even look at the dry foods aisles. Instead, I went directly to the meat section in search of lamb and chicken. I looked in the cases at the red flesh and noticed “Fresh Steak” but not “Organic Fresh Steak” and absolutely no place of origin mentioned. Great. I asked the guy behind the counter where in the city I could find organic meat and I was informed that there was no organic meat to be found in Toledo, Ohio. If I wanted it I could visit the Whole Foods or Trader Joes in Ann Arbor, MI. There’s no way on gods green earth that I’m going to drive 45 minutes to get organic meat so I purchased conventional meats and the rest of my produce that I probably won’t eat tomorrow for Christmas dinner.
On to insomnia. I’ve done the math and in past 4 days I’ve only had a total of 14 hours of sleep-if that. The very early morning I arrived in this grand city I got exactly one hour of sleep. That night I got about 5 hours of sleep (6) The night before last I got about 5 hours of sleep (11) and last night I got about 5 hours of sleep so I suppose I lied, I’ve slept for 14 hours in the past 4 days.
Now, Cable TV. There’s something that I can praise. I’m over joyed, elated, enthusiastically fascinated by this marvelous invention. To think that you can turn on an electronic box, press a magic button and like magic before your eyes you are privy to an endless array of tv shows, news broadcasts, programing! Can you imagine? Have you ever experienced such a thing? Well I haven’t. Rather, I don’t because I refuse to pay for cable television in Brooklyn.
Lastly, ode to Vodka. Did you know that you can purchase a liter of Tanguray Vodka for under $15 when you’re outside of Manhattan?! Well, you can. You can get the better shit-Belvedere and Grey Goose for under $25! I opted for the pseudo “bad” vodka and paid only $11.99 for good vodka and am currently on my third cosmopolitan watching SATC dreaming of my city on the Hudson.