still without internet

My internet modem arrived in the mail finally two days ago.  I was told by the Verizon representative whom I placed the order  that the self installation process was easy.  According to her, all I needed was the modem they were sending and a little bit of time to complete the step-by-step process.  I was a little skeptical, because I’m not all that internet/technologically savvy.  I was optimistic, though.  How hard could it be to set up wireless internet?

I got home with my box in hand and read through the instructions word for word.  It seemed simple enough.  I followed the instructions and waited for all of the green lights on my modem to blink on.  The Power Light was the first to turn on.  Wireless beamed a bright lime green light next, and the DSL blinked on and off and on and off and on and off.  I hit the large internet explorer E on my laptop and held my breath.  My home page looked as though it was starting to load.  A little premature twitch at the corner of my mouth almost broke into a smile until I got the same error message on my computer-still not connected.

I called the 800 number and spoke to a Verizon tech most likely stationed in Bangladesh or Punjab Country in India.  Turns out, I need to plug in the “wireless” internet into a wall jack for the DSL to work and therefore to make the internet work.  Correct me if I’m wrong but how is having my modem plugged into a wall jack “wireless?”  I yelled at the poor woman feverishly flipping through her Verizon issued script book for “How to Assist with Connection Problems”  I felt bad for a brief moment but my guilt at yelling at this messenger subsided when I was told that a tech would have to install a wall jack and that he couldn’t make it to my house until the 15th.

So I’m writing this pathetic excuse for a blog at Mirs’ house.  Things between us are great.  She’s starting her program and I’m plugging away at work and dealing with home shit through cooking.  I made Eggs Florentine on Corn Arepas this morning for brunch and tonight I’m going to do something with stewed tomatoes, eggplants, and chicken.  Ideally, this week my food blog will be imported from Blogger and we can get my facelift scheduled and the internet.  That’s the most important thing.  I don’t blog at coffee shops-although that could be fun, I guess.  I’m thinking about telling Verizon to suck a tit and calling up Time Warner to get Internet, Phone, and Cable for on $99 a month, like their commercials say.

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