What is With (some) Straight Men?

Seriously? I don’t get it. It baffles my mind. I’m actually surprised at how long I spent with straight dudes. Then, when I think about it, the last few guys I hung out with weren’t really completely straight. They were gay straight boys or just gay boys. They were kind, considerate, and respectable … towards women.

So I went to a straight bar tonight with my limping girlfriend in tow for the birthday party of a coworker. It was in the NYU/West Fourth Neighborhood. I don’t know when I got so old but stepping off of the F train at West Fourth Street and into a crowd of chattering girls wearing too-short skirts and overly cologned men I immediately wanted to retreat to the cozy little nest of an apartment I’ve been sharing with Mirs.

Instead we braved the crowds and made our way to a bar called Wicked Willys on Bleeker street. DO NOT GO HERE. Unless you’re into Beer Pong and Reggae Cover Bands, oh and a $5 cover. The fact that my rum and coke. Wait, I drink rum and coke?! NO, No I do not. It was cheap, though, which is why I bought it. So we get there and we make our rounds, had two drinks and peaced out.

I was planning on using Mirs’ ankle as an excuse to leave early but it turned out that we didn’t need to make it up. We’d spent the entire day out doors at the Farmer’s Market, visiting a friend to pay for a Cottage in Fire Island in August, and out back gardening. By the time we got to Willys her ankle had had enough time out in the world. She couldn’t elevate it and we definitely needed to get her home and on some ice.

We said our goodbyes to my coworkers and friends and headed out the door. On the way out a dude; tall, black and wearing a baseball cap grabbed my arm. I pulled it free from his grip and whipped around giving him an icy glare and flipping him off. He threw his arms up in the air as if he hadn’t done anything wrong or offensive to deserve such a reaction. I wanted to punch him, or at least to give him a good piece of my mind. With a limping girlfriend and in that setting I didn’t think it was a wise move so I left him with the stare, some what satisfied.

We tried to catch a cab with no avail and instead walked a few blocks to the train. When we got to the JMZ we witnessed to girls-both white wearing long dresses and plunging necklines get harassed by a group of 5-6 black guys. All, “yo girl, I’d fuck you in that dress” “shit I’d fuck her even with that big ass nose” Seriously? They walked ahead of us on the platform and down to the side of the train we needed to get to our stop. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with it so we hung back to avoid the same treatment.

Finally, not even a block from our house two girls were on the corner. One was on the phone getting directions to meet up with friends while the other looked on. A car at the stop light pulled up filled with 4 Hispanic dudes. They start yelling out to the women in Spanish to which the girl yelled back “Fuck off, ass holes!” to which they started yelling back calling her a bitch.

Really?! I mean, really. Why is this necessary? I mean, I suppose you could say that it’s the way that young guys act when they’re with their friends. Or that it’s just a select group of people that don’t necessarily reflect the actions of all straight guys. Or it’s just that most straight guys are fucking disgusting. Okay, not all of them are. I know a lot of really amazing, respectful, kind straight guys. Why then does this happen? Why are these guys like this? Why would you harass a girl walking down a subway platform when you’re a group of 6 and she’s with one friend? Why grab a girl by the arm as though it’s your right? Why yell out the car, at midnight, to a pair of women minding their own business? It’s absolute bullshit and it pisses me off.

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