I spoke to my mother this morning when I was cooking scrambled eggs for Mir. My sister confirmed, via home pregnancy test, that she is, in fact, pregnant. Lucky for me I wasn’t the one who had to give this information to my mother. Unlucky for me, she still had to hear it. I got the impression, through our conversation, that my sister was under the impression that her stop at my mother’s new apartment was permanent. Thankfully, my mom told her otherwise and they went out looking for apartments for my sister today. I’m not sure what will become of her living alone in an apartment. She’s never lived by herself in her entire adulthood. One thing that is for sure is that she is completely lacking the ability to make a real cognitive series of thoughts regarding her pregnancy. Her comments to my mother have been things like, “I hope I don’t gain as much weight with this pregnancy as I did with Jullian” rather than things like, “Wow, I don’t have a place to live-I should find one.” or “I don’t have a job, how am I going to raise this child?”
I have the feeling that she thinks that, like her last unplanned pregnancy, my parents will be there to support her and her child. Having not spoken to her since Christmas Day, I’m not sure what she plans on doing. My mother tried to talk about having an abortion and again, she refused. I told my mother that she should think about adoption, but I know she wouldn’t consider that either. It still is quite baffling to me that she is so quick to dismiss both of those options and yet, hasn’t come up with an option in which both mother and child will live happy and productive lives. It makes my head hurt and my heart ache.