About six months ago-during NYC Gay Pride, I spent three days in bed with the woman I referred at that time as Lady M. Now I call her by her name here, Miriam. I call her Mir to her face. She’s absolutely amazing and incredibly smart and as I mentioned on my previous post and as evident in the delicious smells coming from the kitchen, she’s a phenomenal cook.
We’ve spent this morning and today much like we did the first weekend we hooked up, in bed. Minus the crazy sex because she’s on her period. Instead we’ve been talking, kissing, and caressing, sleeping and watching L Word Season 4 on her computer. I’ve got a lot of work I need to be getting done and she’s got some papers to work on and the GRE to study for. I’m actually feeling a little guilty for keeping her from her work and she from mine. We rarely get a chance to spend this much time together though.
My roommates would tend to disagree because we have and do spend every night together whether it be at my house or hers, but we’re usually interrupted by work. This weekend we; my roommates, Miriam, and I were planning to take this weekend upstate in Vermont in a cabin that Casey and Kelly found. Those plans fell through but the weekend off remained and I’ve been enjoying every minute of it.
Last night, after the delicious meal Miriam cooked we went down to the WAY Lower East Side to The Delancey to see a group called OMG Michelle perform. They’re a queer girl hip hop band that’s not amazingly talented vocally but seems to have a crazy strong fan base of queer boys and girls.
A while back one of my straight friends found one of my gay girl friends attractive. It wouldn’t work for many reasons-one, she’s straight and two-my friend has a girl friend. Nonetheless, I think she would’ve had fun last night. OMG Michelle’s fans are pretty hot! There were a lot of gay folks, a handful of straight folks, and a lot of queers as far as the eye can see. Girls with girls, girls with boys. Boys with Boys. Boys that look like girls and girls that look like boys. Boys that look like boys who like boys, girls who look like girls who like girls. And a lot of glittery make up, old school late eighties hip hop fashion and dancing. Lots of dancing.
My persistent stomach problems, as of late, have been putting a damper on a lot of my days and nights. The stomach thing reared it’s ugly head just as we got there, preventing me from enjoying my beer and doing too much dancing, besides some swaying side to side and grinding of my ass in Mir’s crotch. I really wanted to let loose and bust a serious move but couldn’t.
Instead I snuggled on Mir, chatted with my friends, made new friends and watched the crowd. I’m still sometimes mesmerized by the different looks of queer women. I love the look of my friends, for instance. Tiara is this tall biracial girl with big hair and her girlfriend, Athea is this petite girl with super short hair. I hate the term butch, I think it sometimes has negative and incredibly male connotations. I wouldn’t call her butch at all, maybe a little androgynous. There were definitely more butch type girls there, I suppose. The whole butch femme thing really isn’t “my thing” per se, but it’s definitely something that I’m intrigued by, as evident in my obsession with the sugarbutch chronicles website www.sugarbutch.net
I suppose there will always be that ebb and flow for me. I’ve definitely been instantly attracted to andro girls but wouldn’t call Mir andro and I’m insanely attracted to her. I think the thing that both turns me on and turns me off to the whole butch identity is the penis factor. Granted, butch women are not transgendered and therefore don’t have or want cocks, as far as I know it. It still seems that there’s, inevitably, the cock factor. I’m a lesbian. I love having sex with women but, there’s also a big part of me that wants to strap on a red cock. Does that make me butch? I think not. I’m not about labels, really. That’s why I like the label “queer” it encompasses so many different labels and none at all, it just is. Queer.