I love Halloween in New York City. I love riding the subway on Halloween. I’d forgotten what it’s like to get into a subway car and be surrounded by ghouls, goblins, and ladies in fishnets and short dresses. Oh and the undertaker. Seriously, two Angels of Death, Ghost of Christmas Past dudes head to toe black…sort of scary.
Last year I went to my friend’s house in South Norwalk, Connecticut for Halloween with my queer friend, Mark. We had a good time-I dressed up as Little Red Riding Hoe and he as a Court Jester.
This year I’m at Miriam’s watching her study for her cognitive neuro-something midterm on Wednesday of next week. Mark and I made plans early this year to go as angels. He would go as Lucifer, the Fallen Angel and I as Gabrielle, the avenging angel. He is now in a relationship with a Mormon girl who he’s been dating on and off (in between boys) basically since college. He spent the last weekend in Utah meeting her parents so I’m pretty sure that they’ll be getting married sooner or later and that I won’t be able to attend, as I am not a Mormon.
On my birthday my Mark came out to Local 138 for some cheep beers with me and my friends. Mostly couples attended my birthday Happy Hour, Tiara and Athea, Natalie and Emily, Miriam and I, my roommates and then Mark. When Mark went to get more rounds I made a comment that he was “straight-ish” and everyone was shocked. Mark just projects GAY. I assured them all that he was happily in a relationship with his lady and that they were most likely getting married.
It was a tough thing to come to, Mark being straight. Actually, he doesn’t consider himself straight (which is why I called him my queer friend) yet, to the world, he is, from a distance. You’d see him walking hand-in-hand with his lady not blink an eye. Yet, you could see him walking hand-in-hand with a guy and not blink an eye either. He’s handsome, he’s a theater guy, he works retail, gets manicures, frets over his outfits, he’s so, so…what’s the word. Oh, Gay! He’s just so damned pretty. Going out with him, he’s always getting checked out by guys, always.
Two years ago on Halloween Mark and I were deep in our Erika/Mark love. It was always flirtatious, always fun, always just friends. We’d spend long brunch Sundays together on the LES. First to Essex, then to Epstein’s, then to Pianos, over to Local 138 and slowly make our way back to his apartment WAY uptown to drink beers, watch TV and drunkenly fall asleep. I told him first about my impending gayness and he totally understood. He told me about his relationships with men and I was completely jealous that he’d experienced same-sex relationships, yes plural, before me. I was just entering that “I’m bi” stage and he was right there with me.
Fast forward to now and I’m gay all the way and he’s still bi. He actually told his lady that he was bi and her response was that it was who he was and it made him a “more interesting” person to be with. Um, really? I dunno. I don’t bi-bash and I think that everyone deserves equality and to be treated with fairness but I don’t think I’d like my partner, gay or straight, running of to be with anyone. To each her own, I suppose.
On my birthday I voiced my sadness in his bi-ness. I reminded him of how, two years earlier, we were taking our first timid steps in the the big world of the LBGT community in NYC. We’re both from small towns and we were glad to have each other as refuge into this new life. But he promised me that he loved her and you can’t argue with love. I still think that you can’t pick who you love, you can chose who you love, that love just is. I wasn’t quite sure though, because after he said he loved her, he said he was bummed that the prospect of being with another guy again was basically zip. After that Utah trip, I’m sure it’s true.
I’m not the kind of girl to send bad mojo to someone else but I foresee an unhappy marriage down the line. One that ends because my friend Mark has found the real love of his life in Matt (yes, my friend Matt, I happen to think they’re perfect for one another!) or other man and the lady will be left broken-hearted and the children confused and angry. We shall see.
So this Halloween I’m sitting on Miriam’s bed on her computer writing while she’s deeply engrossed in her text book. I’m missing the parade and the debauchery that is a New York queer parade and sort of bummed. Especially since the weather is pleasantly mild for the last day of October. She insists that I can go to the parade but what’s a parade alone? Besides, I’ve been feeling ill for the passed two days and nothing gives me greater pleasure than watching her in her cute green short shorts, hair in a messy ponytail, wearing my polka dot bobby pins scribbling her tiny scrawling words onto note cards.
I hope you all are having a fantastic Samhain, All Hallows, Day of the Dead, All Saint’s Day tonight!