Late last night, with S, I had what can only be described as phone text. And it wasn’t even sex-maybe second base. By the way, What exactly is second base? If anyone knows, let me know. I’d be really embarrassed to have to Google it.
Anyway, S and I had a lot of frisky phone text last night and it left me all hot and bothered and really, really nervous! Confession-I’m pretty sure (90%) That I’m a lesbian-or at least a bi-sexual girl on the road to a full-on lesbo but I’ve NEVER had actual sex with a woman. So does that really make me a lesbian!? Everyone keeps telling me (and by everyone I mean my mother who just thinks I need some dick in me and my friends who think the same) that I can’t call myself a lesbian until I’ve actually had sex with a woman. I suppose that this is a fair assessment given my age and current circumstance. I mean, I’ve only ever fooled around with a girl and it was drunk, in college, with clothes on. That said, I think about my college and post-collegiate girl kisses a lot. I check out girl ass on 5th Avenue constantly.
On the other hand, I didn’t allow my virginity prior to losing it not define me as “Straight” I mean, there are tons of Christian virgins running around and I’m pretty sure that they think they’re straight. The lack of sex with anyone hasn’t defined them as gay or straight so why should it in my case?
My mom, has always listened to every sexual encounter that I’ve wished to share with her. I mean, who else do you call when you have to be rushed to the hospital because you didn’t use enough lube for anal!? True story-not lying. She hates to hear the stories, but because she really is my best friend she does. When I said, “Hey mom, I think I’m a bisexual” her response was, “Oh, honey, you just need some dick. But let me send you some Bible verses” Yes, in the same breath my mother said “dick” and “Bible” That’s how we roll.
I don’t think I need a Bible verse and I’m sure she’d hate to know that at church when my female pastor gives me Eucharist I kind of wish she was giving me something else. Pause Please-If you’re a right winged holy roller-please stop reading now and find another blog on Blogspot that is more your speed! Play-I’m not lying. She’s super cute.
Anyway, back to S. We were texting last night about me crying because I decided to watch Crazy Beautiful because I needed a good cry. We’re talking about Kirsten Dunst and then she brings up my sore quads (I’m training for a marathon) asking if they still were sore. Because I have zero common “You’re getting hit on” sense I was like “No, thanks! They’re actually feeling much better now” she, of course, sent something naughty back along the lines of “I hoping you’d say yes so we could arrange for me to come and rub them for you.”
Then, of course, I’m stammering…which is really hard via text message. Trying to come up with something sex, cute, and clever. To which, she responded “that really cheesy.” It was something to do with yoga and helping her stretch out. Who am I? Ha! So yoga talk inevitably turned into Downward Facing Dog talk and she told me about a fantasy she has where her yoga instructor comes over to adjust her and then she finds herself naked getting fucked by a hot yogi. Um, who hasn’t had that fantasy? I purposely put myself in a shallow Dog so I can get adjusted. And to that she said she’d put me in the best down dog I’d ever had!
THEN, she tells me that she’s really tight because she’s been out of practice and that we’ll need to warm up before taking a yoga class together. Now-fun part. Does this mean that she’s out of practice from yoga or out of practice from sex? And If the later is true, this is good because I’ve never had girl sex so it could be in my advantage! OR, she really is out of practice from yoga and really good at sex, in which case I will have to Google lesbian sex-a how to…