Dating in New York City is like trying to paint your fingernails blind folded. You know how to paint your finger nails. You’ve painted your finger nails countless times before. You can locate your hands and locate the polish and you know how to apply the polish to the tips but somehow, blindfolded, you can’t quite get it right and you’re nails as well as the skin around them are all covered in polish.
That’s what it’s like to date in New York. I think I’ve probably watched too many episodes of Sex In the City on DVD, too many episodes of Friends on TBS, or watched too many movies like You’ve Got Mail and The Devil Wears Prada. It’s fairly certain that every thing about NYC through the eyes of a hit sitcom or cable show is false. I’m not sure how those people live or how they find the amazing apartments and furniture that they have. Sometimes I find myself actually wishing that I could find that awesome cafe in SATC and then remember that it’s a sound stage. I’m jolted back to the reality that unless I actually get my book to an agent that will read it, and that agent finds a publishing house publishes it, Oprah reads it and loves it, and it immediately sky rockets to the top of the New York Time’s Best Seller’s list-I’m not going to live that life any time soon.
Not that making tons of money actually helps in the NYC dating scene. Back to that. It’s pretty much impossible. I find that many of my friends outside of my fashion world find mates at work. As a manger, I really shouldn’t be hitting on my associates so that leaves that out. The bar scene in NYC has been tapped for four years and I’m sure that well is dry. I also don’t think that finding a date in a bar is my style.
Let’s be real here. In Ohio you’re hooked up through friends, most of the time. You get introduced to a really great guy that’s your friend’s friend-brother/sister’s friend, etc. Or you tend to hang out in the same groups and someone brings a hottie and you hook up that way. Sex happens because you generally trust the person who’s hooking you up. Not so much in NYC. I don’t know. Because I’m not Carrie Bradshaw and because I’m not an actress reading from a script and having scripted sex with men that auditioned for the pleasure of kissing Sarah Jessica Parker I had to do it the old fashion way. I went online dating.
I tried Match.com first and got approved for “looking for male” so I went that route and went on some dates. They were awful! ZERO winners. MANY losers. I still have one guy who randomly leaves voice messages on my cell and another that sends me texts that read “YOU SUCK” because I turned down his second date offer. Ugh.
My next try was on Pink Cupid.com to find some hot chicks. Again, ZERO hot chicks. So I cancelled yet another profile and opted for Nerve.com and it’s been pretty decent. We’ll see how it goes. There’s always the bar scene. Truth be told-I hate the bar scene! Call me a small town Ohio girl but I can’t just go out and make out with randoms like I did when I was 20, can I? Carrie would, wouldn’t she? I could have made out with J at Cubby Hole and I want to make out with S from Nerve. Ideally, I’ll grow a pair and will.